The thoughts that creep in: How cognitive distortions can sabotage your sobriety
...and how to outsmart them.
I work a lot with people who come to me saying they’ve had sober stints in the past but they found themselves eventually returning to drinking and want help to avoid this. They know they can go sober but staying sober seems harder and this is where ‘the work’ comes in. It’s also where understanding some of the psychology behind our thinking processes can help so that you are forewarned and can be forearmed with any sneaky thoughts later down the line.
You know what it’s like, you’ve decided to quit drinking, you’re committed, you’re feeling better, and then you’re a few weeks or months down the road and you’re proud of how far you’ve come. But then—without warning— maybe something shifts. A sly thought sneaks in when you aren’t paying attention and all of a sudden you notice the thoughts: “Maybe I made too big a deal out of this.” Or, “One drink wouldn’t hurt. I’ve proven I can go without.” These thoughts feel innocent to start with, maybe even logical. But they’re not. In fact they’re saboteurs dressed in familiar clothes.
In the psychology world, these thoughts are known as cognitive distortions which are distorted ways of thinking and they don’t just apply to sobriety. They are mental traps that twist our thinking and undermine our progress. And when it comes to sobriety, recognising and challenging them is not just helpful—it’s essential.
To begin with, let’s explore how these distortions work, why they’re so common in sobriety, and how metacognition, which is essentially our ability to think about our thinking, can be your secret weapon in staying free.
What Are Cognitive Distortions?
The founder of CBT Aaron Beck coined the term cognitive distortions when he noticed that his patients with depression often displayed certain thinking patterns that weren’t helping them. Cognitive distortions are biased, irrational patterns of thinking that shape how we interpret our experiences. They’re not signs of weakness, in fact they’re part of being human and we will all do some of them. But in the context of sobriety, they can be especially dangerous.